I Love the Pause
“The pause is as important as the note.” - Truman Fisher, American Composer
When people ask me why I meditate, I am happy to share the various benefits of meditation with them. But the reason I love to meditate is that over time and with regular practice it developed my ability to pause. And this ability has helped me transform relationships with people I love and enhance the way I interact with those who come into my life on a deeper, more authentic level.
What is the pause?
At its essence, it is to stop, take a breath and assess what is really happening.
The power of the pause
Whether we are busy or not, our thoughts always seem to be working overtime. They can become a whirlwind of worries, assumptions, and conditioned reactions. When we learn to pause, we create a moment of calm and clarity. This break allows us to step back and observe our thoughts without getting caught up in them. In this quiet moment, we can more easily identify which thoughts are driven by protective instincts or habit and which ones reflect the truth of the situation.
When we pause, we can
Step back and observe without judgment
Become more aware of information we might otherwise miss
Gain insights into our thoughts, emotions, and reactions
Make more informed decisions and respond thoughtfully
Why pause?
It allows you to check in with your reaction to a comment or a situation. I’m still amazed that when I pause and ask myself whether what I am thinking is true, so often the answer is “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure.”
The space that taking a pause creates gives me time to ask another person or to look for clarification within. This additional information often changes my perspective on the conversation or conversation.
It gives you a chance to notice what is going on more clearly. Pausing helps me notice when and how automatic responses and assumptions shaped by past experiences can subconsciously kick in without my even realizing.
It provides the opportunity to respond more thoughtfully. With more clarity and a better understanding of my own reactions, I can consciously choose how to best respond in the situation.
It can help us strengthen our relationships with others. When I pause and ask a clarifying question, it signals to the other person that I respect what they are communicating to me and that I care enough to try to understand. I’ve seen this result in fewer misunderstandings and a positive shift in the relationship.
It can lead to better outcomes and a sense of joy from handling situations more thoughtfully.
Remind yourself to STOP
The acronym STOP is a simple, yet powerful tool and reminder commonly used in mindfulness practices.
Stop
Take a breath
Observe
Proceed mindfully
You can use STOP to remind you to pause and take time to respond consciously and thoughtfully instead of immediately reacting to a situation. When you stop for a moment, take a deep breath, and pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations, you can approach your daily interactions with more care and compassion.
Try a simple exercise
Practice taking a pause every day. It can turn it into a useful habit, eventually becoming second nature. As a side benefit, a few minutes of practice also gives you a chance to relax both your mind and body, helping you to recharge and stay balanced.
Try this simple 5-minute exercise:
Allow your eyes to relax. You can either close them gently, rest them half-way, or just keep them open and soften your gaze.
Take a few deep breaths, allowing your body to relax with each exhale and drop into stillness; feel what it is like to relax and allow all thoughts to pause, just for a moment.
As thoughts arise (as they naturally do) simply notice them without judgment and relax again. Let go of the need to control or change anything, simply allow yourself to breathe, relax and pause. Repeat this several more times – nothing else for you to do, just notice, breathe, relax, and pause again.
When you're ready, gently open your eyes. Take a moment to appreciate yourself for prioritizing this time for self-care.
If you find it difficult to pause your thoughts, don’t worry – they can be very persistent! Be kind to yourself and keep practicing every day. Even seasoned meditators have days where all they can do is acknowledge their thoughts and gently guide their focus back to their meditation. That’s why meditation is called a practice!
To learn more
Sign up for a copy of my 10 Tips for Meditation Practice below to help you get started and book a private or group session that interests you at www.spiritintraining.com. Whether you are new to meditation, want to give it another try, or already practice on your own, there is a place for you here.
Remember to always approach new information with care and discernment: take what resonates with you or works for your situation, and feel free to leave the rest behind.
“The ability to pause allows wisdom to enter.”
- Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
I want to be clear that I provide coaching services and meditation instruction to support personal growth and development. I am not a medical or mental health professional or therapist and do not offer medical advice, psychological counseling, or therapeutic services. This post is for informational purposes only, is not medical or health advice, and does not replace the advice of a licensed medical or mental health professional, or other healthcare provider.
Links or references to other sites or sources of information should not be construed in any way as an endorsement of or agreement with the contents of any resource or site.